


A Dog Named... Fish?

by stormie2817



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Based on a Twitter Post, Dog - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Fish, Fluff, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Keith is a pushover dad, Kick, Klance as dads, Kosmo is best boy, Lance is impulsive, M/M, Married Keith/Lance (Voltron), Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Pets, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, he also is weak for puppies, he will do anything for his kids, it screamed klance to me, klance with kids, so I wrote it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 08:23:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19787023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormie2817/pseuds/stormie2817
Summary: Keith was generally an easygoing guy. He dealt with things thrown his way in a competent manner and rolled with the punches. He liked to think he got better at dealing with things as the years went by, but who was he kidding? After being with Lance for as long as he had, he learned that Lance was and always would be unpredictable. Keith braced himself as he asked the dreaded question.“Lance. What did you do?”Keith heard Lance clear his throat nervously before speaking. “So… you know how I was supposed to take the kids to the pet store… to get a fish?”





	A Dog Named... Fish?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic is based on a Twitter/Facebook post! I tried to find the original post, but I couldn't, so here's [a link](http://www.comedycentral.co.uk/weird/articles/a-mum-went-out-to-buy-a-goldfish-but-got-a-dog-instead-so-what-does-she-call-it-fish) that has the text message conversation I used in the fic. I hope you find this as funny as I did. I was giggling the entire time I wrote this. :P
> 
> Thank you to [Lines](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnlacingLines) and [Audrey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenlily) for listening to me ramble on and on about Klance and for encouraging me to write this! You guys are so much fun to talk to and I'm so glad we're friends!

Keith sighed as he put the final touches on his report and sent it off to be reviewed by his supervisor. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He’d been working on this report for two weeks and it was finally complete. He was looking forward to going home to his family.

As he gathered his things to start heading to the elevator, his phone rang. He glanced at the screen and smiled when he saw his husband’s name along with his smiling contact photo.

“Hey, babe! Are you almost done work?” Lance’s voice made Keith smile more and he walked faster towards the exit.

“Yeah, I just finished. I’m walking to my bike now.”

“Great! So, uh, listen…” Lance laughed nervously and Keith frowned in confusion. “Don’t be mad.”

Keith’s frown deepened and he sighed wearily. He knew that tone of voice. The nervous laughter meant Lance did something Keith would probably not approve of.

Now, Keith was generally an easygoing guy. He dealt with things thrown his way in a competent manner and rolled with the punches. He liked to think he got better at dealing with things as the years went by, but who was he kidding? After being with Lance for as long as he had, he learned that Lance was and always would be unpredictable. Keith braced himself as he asked the dreaded question.

“Lance. What did you do?”

Keith heard Lance clear his throat nervously before speaking. “So… you know how I was supposed to take the kids to the pet store… to get a fish?”

Keith already didn’t like where this was going. He recalled the conversations they had as a family where Keith and Lance agreed that their kids could get a pet. They had made it clear that said pet was going to be a fish since it was their first pet and pretty low maintenance. Keith had also reiterated this to Lance this morning before he left for work.

“Yes…” Keith started. “I swear to God, Lance. If you brought home anything other than an aquatic animal, I’m going to shoot you.” He quickened his pace to his bike when he reached the parking lot. There was a series of short barks on the other end of the line and Keith stopped in his tracks. “Lance.”

The barking continued and Lance just talked over it. “We named him Fish!”

_Unbelievable_. “You did not.” Keith said out loud.

“Keith, he is _so_ fluffy!” Lance’s voice turned pleading and Keith started shaking his head even though Lance couldn’t see. He was in complete disbelief.

“Lance! I can’t believe you bought our kids a dog after going to the store to purchase one fucking goldfish!” Keith ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly.

“Hey! We agreed it had to be a _fish_ , we didn’t specify _goldfish_!”

“And a dog is _neither of those things_ , Lance!”

“Okay, okay, hear me out!” Lance paused for a second before continuing. “We got to the store and we went to the fish section to look at everything they had—but we couldn’t find one we liked!”

“Lance…”

“Hold up, let me finish! So, we started walking around the store just to see the other animals. And then we saw _him_. And then the kids _asked_ and he was just _so cute_ and I _couldn’t_ say no to them-”

“Lance.”

“-next thing I knew, I was signing the papers-”

“Lance!”

“-so since I know we do not own any guns, the kids and I are gonna go buy dog supplies and then bring Fish home!”

“ _Lance_!”

“Bye, babe!” Keith heard the dial tone and took his phone away from his ear. The words ‘CALL ENDED’ flashed on his screen and Keith stared at it in disbelief until the screen went blank.

“I can’t believe he hung up on me.” Keith said to himself out loud. He sighed and made his way towards his bike. He put on his helmet and climbed on. “Fish better be the goddamn fluffiest dog in the world.” He peeled out of the lot and headed towards his house.

***

Keith glared at his husband’s pleading expression. “Lance, no.”

Lance clasped his hands under his chin and pouted. “Please, Keith!”

“No, Lance. I have to put my foot down on this.”

Lance grabbed Keith’s face and turned it towards the small husky puppy currently running around the living room with their kids.

“It would be so cute!”

“Lance, I’m not letting our kids name their first dog ‘Fish’.”

So, Keith had caved. One look into those large puppy eyes and Keith was a goner. He had accepted “Fish” as part of their family. (And, yes, he was _so_ fluffy.) But he was definitely _not_ calling the dog by that name.

“He’s their dog, so they should decide what to name him!” Lance said.

“I think if anyone should decide it should be the dog himself.”

Lance paused and gave Keith a blank stare. “You want the dog… to name himself?”

“Yeah. When he’s ready, he’ll tell us his name.”

Lance gave Keith the most exasperated look he could manage. “How would he do that? He’s a _dog_.”

Keith was about to open his mouth to answer when there was a crashing sound from the living room. They both rushed in to see what happened. The dog had run into the bookshelf, toppling down a few books. The kids were gathering up the books into a pile. Lance checked over the kids to make sure they weren’t hurt while Keith made his way to the dog currently sitting on one of the fallen books.

It was one of the books about space by Carl Sagan. The dog’s paw was covering the last letter of the title. Keith gasped and Lance looked over in his direction.

“Is everything okay?” Lance asked.

“Lance, come here!”

Lance and the kids made their over and Keith pointed proudly at the dog.

“I told you he would tell us his name when he was ready.”

Lance raised an eyebrow but leaned forward to see what Keith was pointing at. He gasped in disbelief. Keith smirked triumphantly and patted the dog’s head.

“Welcome to the family, Kosmo.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact: The book that Kosmo ends up sitting on is real. I Googled "books about cosmos" and chose the first result that came up. There is an actual book called "Cosmos" by Carl Sagan. I changed the letter "C" in the title to a "K" for obvious reasons.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave kudos and/or a comment if you enjoyed this!
> 
> You can follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/stormie2817) and [Tumblr](https://not-so-sunnie.tumblr.com/)!


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